An Introduction

I have spent much of my life quietly struggling as a people-pleasing perfectionist.

Looking back even to childhood, I can pinpoint many moments of mental exhaustion, striving and stressing, weary from worrying about how I performed, what I presented, how I was perceived, or who I was able to please.

This bondage-way of thinking is nothing short of a prison cell, and – over time – the shackles can crush and crash over into every area of life.

But, praise be to God, He offers us the joyful liberation of living out of our position in Christ instead of our performance for Christ.

Moreover, He supplies sufficient grace to fuel our faithfulness (not perfection) to live a life committed to and compelled by the only One we were created to please.

In other words, God grants us the freedom to function for His glory alone and permission to pursue His approval alone.

I envision using this blog to share personal stories and experiences related to the above, particularly in terms of three seasons (though these are often simultaneous – interwoven and not isolated) :

  • seasons of sowing that have produced exceeding gratitude
  • seasons of struggle that have proved God’s enduring grace
  • seasons of surrender that have prompted an eternal gaze

At least this structure provides some order to the thoughts swimming around in my head and heart.

Lately, I have been circling back to Mary’s offering in John 12 – particularly how she let her hair down and opened her jar and kept her focus on Jesus, not caring about the opinions of the onlookers, the potential and probable critics.

I, too, see this as an offering. I feel nervous and uncertain and vulnerable. I am praying for strength to step out of my comfort zone and for discernment to step into what obedience looks likes here.

And now – with sweaty palms and second guesses – I open my journal . . .

Because taking note of God’s sustaining grace in our struggles writes the melody to our songs of surrender. In this broken world, we will all struggle – and by His faithfulness, we will also sing.

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